Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Risking Your Life for Fun – Western Madness

Most people in the world spend their lives fighting various real dangerous situations.  If you were to explain to them that westerners create fake danger they would think those Westerners are mad.  And they would be right.

How many times have you seen an ad for some TV show where some idiot puts themselves in a dangerous situation and then tries to get themselves out of it to the oohs and aaaahs of a spellbound audience as moron X finally frees themselves from their glass sarcophagus?

Then there are the endless sky diving expeditions and bungee jumping jaunts.  What is wrong with people?  Why don’t you take your hard earned money and limited time and do something useful at least and leave the medical professionals who have to be on standby in case the Darwin laws injure you or take you out, get on with treating sick people?

You want the thrill of danger and to put your life at risk?  Go save some Yazidi women from Isis rapists.

Want to feel a frisson of excitement at putting your health in danger? Go to a mosquito infested region and distribute some netting!  Job done!

The fascination westerners have with creating fake dangerous situations that they then get out of and then congratulate themselves on their ‘bravery and ingenuity; a serious kind of privilege.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

At Least He Tried?

Well, it’s over and of course there is much debate about the surprising result.  Before the campaign started Ed Miliband was oddly seen as both a wimp and a ruthless brother stabber (in the back or front depending on who you talk to).

Then during the last four or five weeks of the campaign something seemed to change – in terms of Mr Miliband’s public perception.  People seemed to like him.  Young women seemed to think he was attractive.  He came across quite well in the ‘debates.’ He actually seemed a lot more comfortable with himself and answered some very rude questions from Paxman quite well. 

However, when it came to the crunch they didn’t seem to like his policies.  But then again maybe it came down to perception.  Perhaps they didn’t like what they perceived to be his policies.  And on this occasion is wasn’t enough that he at least tried.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

I'm back

Been away for a long time but I have decided to resume business.  I had stopped because of attacks by spammers but I seem to have solved that problem now.

Can' stop thinking of the loved ones on that Asian flight that went down.  At first I like many others thought it was another mystery but sadly this morning came news that bodies had been found.  My condolences to all concerned.

I will be back at the end of the week with a fuller post.

Chief Lymer

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Ladies, leave the men alone

Ladies,  if you want to have relationships with men, it’s a good idea to get to know them, find out what makes them tick.

I’ve observed male/female interactions over the past eleven year here in Blighty and it has come to my attention that many British women don’t understand men.  Here are a few pointers I’ve learned from experience interacting with men and from just asking them questions:

1)    Most men don’t like shopping, unless it’s for cars or sports equipment.  Don’t make that poor man follow you around the ladies section of a department store holding your handbag and looking like an arse.  He DOES NOT WANT TO BE THERE.  Leave him the hell alone.
2)    Most men I know like to watch sports.  Let them get on with it.  If he’s earning a salary and sharing in paying the bills he has as much right to watch his own damn TV as you do – don’t tell him he can’t watch sports.  If clashes are an issue there are many options - decide when who will watch what; get Sky Plus and record stuff; watch stuff on the internet, there are enough iplayers; get a second TV.  In this day and age, TV watching clashes do not need to be an issue.
3)    Chances are your husband is not gay (you hope he isn’t but that’s a whole ‘nother issue).  This means that chances are he does not want to watch Sex in the City or any other soap for that matter, or romantic comedy. Don’t make him watch that mess.  Watch it alone or with your girlfriends.
4)    If you want to look good for your girlfriends, fine but don’t confuse your girlfriends’ ideas of beauty with your husband’s – chances are they are very different.  Understand the importance appearance has for many men.  If he likes a certain look, let him see you in that look as often as possible.  If he likes you in heels and you declare you ‘aint wearing them, understand he WILL be looking at someone in heels for pleasure and you’ve just told him it won’t be you.  There are consequences for that.
5)    If you don’t like sex, get to enthusiastically like it.  Same principle as above.  As faithful as he is, if you aren’t having regular sex with your husband he’s going to end up fantasizing and fantasies turn into actions.  Be smart about this.
6)    Learn to shut the hell up.  When you all come in from work, give him at least 20 minutes before you start asking him to do stuff.  Andy by asking I mean telling, you have to tell men to do stuff, it just doesn’t seem to occur to them to replace the toilet roll.  But you can’t make it obvious you’re telling them. You got to ask gently, sometimes up to 18 times in a row!  Go chew the towel to take the edge off your murderous rage.   The good news is after this approach they WILL change the toilet toll themselves – takes about 6 weeks on average of training.
7)    Tell your husband what you want for your birthday, anniversary Christmas, Valentines Day.  He may not remember but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.  Many men just aren’t able to think independently when it comes to these things.  Rope your female relatives and friends in if you’re not comfortable telling him EXACTLY what you want, and trust me, in order to get exactly what you want, ya need to TELL him, he ‘aint going to figure it out.
8)    Unless you want to pick up after him for the rest of your life, determine who does what around the house from the beginning.  And stick to it.  Get comfortable with things ‘not being done properly’ you OCD cow!  Unless of course you want to do ALL the housework, AND childcare – FOREVER!
9)    A woman CAN steal a man.  You know those women trying to, so make it clear  you’re on the job and don’t be afraid to speak plainly and terrifyingly to skanks and if necessary to physically remove the threat.
10) You CAN’T change a man. If he is a particular way, or he tells you who he is through his actions, believe him.  He’ll change if he wants to, not because you are so wonderful and understand, he may NEVER want to.


Sunday, June 03, 2012

What exactly are we celebrating?

I watched the coverage of the jubilee celebrations and I found them incredibly sad. 

We in the UK live under a constitutional monarchy.  Do you know what that means?  Many probably don’t.  That means dear reader that the Queen or King is a CEREMONIAL head of state.  That means they have NO power, the government runs the country.  All the Queen is, is a ceremonial head, she lives in luxury at taxpayers’ expense opens various events goes to parties, smiles for the camera and is basically a tourist attraction.  That’s all there is to it – that’s all there EVER has been to it.  So let’s look at what is happening this weekend again.

We are ‘celebrating’ a woman who has largely done nothing for 60 years and will continue to do  basically nothing for the rest of her life until the mantle of doing jack passes to her son and from him to his son and so on and so forth.

In order to celebrate this nothingness, the country has spent millions, will lose millions from the extra public holiday and still has no collective understanding of what we are as a nation and how we can work together to make  fulfilling lives for us and be of assistance to others. 

Some people interviewed today spoke of a ‘wonderful atmosphere.’  By this they meant everyone had warm feelings towards everyone else, one lady stated that people on the train actually spoke to each other.  And they all attributed this to the Queen and the jubilee.

No some say our sense of identity and common feelings come from the Queen an events like the jubilee.  The trouble with that is what happens once the jubilee is over? I’ll tell you what, things go back to normal, and that’s not good.  We need a sense of community and common feeling that has to do with us and what we want to achieve and give, not to do with a ceremonial head of government.

I watched the documentary hosted by Prince Charles and he said that the greatest thing about his mama’s reign was the sense of continuity she brought.  Fair enough, she’s been a constant over the past 60 years when there has been a lot of change.  But seriously, what real value is that?  Aren’t our lives, their very meaning so much more than a sense of continuity provided by anyone, even a Queen?

We as a nation are hopelessly lost.  Dedicated to doing useless things, hamstrung by a self inflicted dedication to suppressing all forms of human emotion unless they are encouraged by inebriation, willfully under or uneducated, dedicated to the world of ‘celebrity’ instead of  the things that really matter to us.  Extremely unproductive in the workplace and with no real national identity; we aren’t even citizens, we are subjects to a Queen, who as I stated above, is a ceremonial head only.

We are living in austere times, and they will get worse.  The way we are now cannot continue if we are to survive in any semblance of the way we have been living in the past.
It’s time to see the Queen in a realistic light and not be carried away by nothingness.  If we decide we want a ceremonial head of state who is good for tourism, fine.  But don’t imbue here with any more significance in life than yours. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Third World?

This denigration of the so called third world needs to stop. Does the average first worlder have any clue, any REAL clue what takes place in so called 'third world' countries in general, but specifically in relation to vulnerable people? And if they don't is it relevant? And are all countries in these groups the same? No. This assumption that if you are of the first world you are intrinsically better and more civilized than those who come from the 3rd world is a load of unmitigated bilge! Measure yourself not by some fantasy of undeserved inbred greatness in relation to everyone else but by how you treat others – especially the vulnerable. With that in mind how 'first world' is the UK, US, Australia and New Zealand?

And while I'm at it stop making stupid jokes about Caribbean education. I watched a sitcom the other day which made the oft repeated tiresome joke about if they flunked out of a US med school they'd have to go to med school in the Caribbean. Just cut the foolishness! What do people like him think you do in med school in the Caribbean – learn how to resuscitate a blinkin' coconut? To people still making these jokes I say get a damn grip and stop making arses of yourself. The joke is there's a strong possibility your GP and half the nurses at your hospital were trained in the Caribbean. A Caribbean education isn't so distasteful when you need their assistance is it?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Creativity and budgets for it need to return

There’s too much damn BAD reality TV on the air right now. I know that creating well crafted dramas and comedies costs money and takes skill but its skill and money we must find.

Because reality shows make the subjects money and put them back in the limelight so many stars and pseudo stars go for them. But they usually degenerate into a voyeuristic following of people’s misfortune.

However, there is hope. It seems that there is creative and thought provoking material out there and guess where it is? That’s right, on the net. So it’s TV that has to pick it up several notches.