Keep it zipped

The Gleaner Letter of the Day some time last week was among other things, a call for fidelity in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

I strongly back that call. It’s time for damn foolishness to stop!

The truth of the matter is that in the two areas of the world with the highest HIV/AIDS prevalence, (sub Saharan Africa and the Caribbean) more heterosexual women are getting the disease than any other group. And who are they often getting it from? Their husbands or boyfriends – cheating swine that many of them are. Let me add murderous cheating swine to that. HIV/AIDS has been around for more than 20 years now and yet you still have criminally stupid and uncaring men screwing around which is bad enough, but on top of that screwing around without protection!

The sad thing is that in Africa and the Caribbean, it is often the man in society who has the strongest bargaining position when it comes to sex and using condoms.

Women, well, those of them who are free to, should play their part and refuse to have sex without a condom. Unfortunately what do you do if you are married? I know, you want to trust your husband – and you should but if you are wrong it could be deadly.

To the ladies I would say this. In my experience if I’m honest with myself I have always known when a man was cheating on me. It starts out as a suspicion which could then be backed up by easily obtained evidence. Where we fail ladies is emotionally. We know the man is cheating but we don’t want to face it and so we go on living a lie. This might be fine if African and Caribbean were largely responsible – but many aren’t. And many women who cheat with them aren’t either and don’t insist on protection or believe the liar when he says he uses it with his regular woman. (I ask you, you are cheating with a man, i.e. lying with him - in both ways - and you believe him when he says rubbish like that? Come on!)

Anyway, nine times out of ten we know our men, really know them. If your man is a good man, I respect that, hang on to him and treat him like a king. And there are good husbands that you can trust to be faithful and responsible and can with surety have unprotected sex with.

However, if he’s a lying, irresponsible cheat, you must leave him; your life may depend upon it. If he’s a lying responsible cheat who you know wouldn’t put you at risk by having unprotected sex, or if you know he’s not willing to put himself at risk and you want to stay, then fine. What I’m saying is that the time when you could look the other way is over. Now you’ve got to watch out for your own safety.

To the men I would say start acting like responsible intelligent adults. I know grown ass well educated men who still have unprotected indiscriminate sex with multiple partners. Come on fool! Wake the hell up! And for God’s sake stop the damn running up and down after everything in a skirt with a pulse. Many bad things can happen when you have that attitude. Consider this; I had a friend who loved the running up and down after woman indiscriminately who ran after one who turned out not to be if you know what I mean!

Take the time to find beauty and satisfaction in being with one woman at a time. And if you can’t then use a damn condom.

And specifically you married men, decide if you want to be married or not and act accordingly. And if all else fails and you can’t bury the dawg nature, then at least wear a condom and don’t put your wife at risk.

Too many black people are dying because of HIV AIDS and any way you want to explain the high prevalence amongst us (poverty, ignorance, culture etc) which are all valid arguments - barring drug users, it comes down to this – too many black people are having unprotected sex with too many people.

If you have sex, do it with one person exclusively and if you can’t use a condom. Otherwise we perish.

On another note, we really have to question our respective cultures that say the ram goat attitude of men must prevail – not for any other reason than IT IS KILLING US! We must change our culture in this respect.

There are whole generations that are being wiped out. Is it really worth the cheap thrill of conquering yet another woman? Each African and Caribbean man must do his part by being sexually responsible and by encouraging his bredrin to do the same.

I am pleading with all of you – keep it zipped nuh? We can’t afford to have any more die.